WALLFLOWER

or am i just pushing for something that is uncertain?

…. i don’t know

in the end of the day… i’m not getting younger.. ive got live today only once in my lifetime.. tomorrow will be a new day and i wanna look back at yesterday and feel content with what ive done or mark or achieved …

Tell me Mr Clown,

How does it feel to be different?

Where no one knows your name? 

Where no one will ever know how u feel behind that mask?

Where no one will ever see you without the mask?

How do u feel Mr Clown?

Where no one know your deepest and darkest fear?

Don’t u ever get lonely behind that happy face?

Aren’t you tired trying to cheer people up?

Don’t you feel at times you just feel like curling up in a corner and just sleep?

Sleep off all the worries and heartaches. 

What do u do when u’re feel down and u don’t feel like cheering them up?

Would they cheer u up or would they still anticipate u cheering them up?

But what about your feelings Mr Clown?

How do u feel when u hear the laughs from people around u but all u can feel is the pain inside?

If you have a choice, what would you choose Mr Clown?

Or would you rather be this way?

Tell me mr Clown coz i need to know…

… i’m a toys’r us kids … we ve got soo much n la la la la la la la la ….

man! life doesnt get any easier as u grow older ya… responsibilities.. uwaaaa~~~!!!!!

in decision making u are bound to hurt some party in the picture… but most of all.. when u do it… make sure u are doing it for urself.. n not for someone else… so there’ll be no regrets….

i’m sooooo…doomed

I cant take this anymore..

I cant stand this anymore

I have tried…. And am still trying…

To put myself in your shoes….

Understanding and feeling the pain, disappointments and despair u have coiled up in u

I can see that all these are tearing u apart…

Somehow.. I wanna reach out for u but I dunno where to start…

Tried different ways but it seems to trigger ur anger

U thought that my ways means I didn’t care about u

But u’re wrong

I care about u soo much that I’m still trying to help u n try to make u smile again

Again.. I failed…

Failed to cheer u up and failed to understand u…

I keep making u angry n I disappoint u

But.. i didn’t know what to do…

I thought my ways would help u not knowing that my ways has offended u

I cant take this anymore

I cant stand this anymore

Every time u re faced with ordeals n challenges…

U take it all out on me

U make me feel like I’m the cause of everything single unhappiness in ur life

We ve had that talk…

That talk… how and what u should do

To turn this bad luck away

But u never seem to do

I guess my words didn’t help that much

Sweet and comforting words is what u await for me to say

If truth is what u seek, those words I shall not say

I want u to see the bigger picture

I want u to open ur eyes

N understand how it happened and why

I want u to learn n see it your way

Learning and slowly turning ur life around n see urself smiling again

Yet, my actions n words are always used against me

I can never seem right

I’m always creating sinful accusations, selfishly worrying of own self than urs

How could u see that in me?

How could u think so selfish of me?

When all I want is to make u happy

When all I want is to see u smile

Why is my ways always wrong?

Why are my words never good enough?

Am I not the only person u claim who understands u the most?

Am I not the only person who loves unconditionally?

Why am I always at fault?

Your words often push me to the ground,

Your words often make me feel low,

Your words often kill me.

I cant stand it anymore

I cant take it anymore

Why cant u see that when I vowed that

I’ll be there through thick n thin…

Why wont u trust me?

@tjoetnja 301105 10:00pm

Come one come all … and… be amongst the talented and aspiring individuals trying to carve their name in the Independent Filmaking World……

Celebrate their dreams and ideas that are coming thru the lens of their souls……

A Truly Asian Malaysian experience you will have….. will make you feel proud with the evolution of independent movies…..

Here, an aspiring individual is leaving a foot print in your life by inviting you to participate a journey that will enrich us with a bundle of knowledge and experience…. Currently, searching and digging out for new and fresh faces (underdogs of the average Joes and Janes)… to come out and shine with him…..

Hopefully from this experience… we will see the journey of life in a different perspective….

DRIVE THRU

Airul, a man with a broken heart coping his life after the tragic ‘incident’ – now, he’s living a life that no one understands. Trying to find his bits and pieces throughout his life, Airul is trying to cope without the life of Alissa. What happens when Alissa meets Airul back? How would it end for Airul?

The world will see the true Airul is now and how HOPE can lead us to a different scenario, at the Drive-Thru. A journey that changes his life….forever.

CASTING IS IN SESSION!!!

at
CENFAD, 24, Jalan Kia Peng, Kuala LumpurFRIDAY, 5th of August. 5PM.

I need this people who suits this parts:

i’ve highlited the ones in RED for urgencies. thx  


any details pls contact:
Latif : 012-2306281    or    Esqa : 012-2306581

“A shot in life is never a waste”

“We’ll be waiting for your call”

Being the superstitious that i am… ive been aimlessly targeted by moths where i have seen and bumped into numbers of moth within this past week…. call it stupid… but i keep seeing them at my house…. the front door… kitchen….at burger king.. plus… in klcc… wahhh!!!!!! what is going on here? well… i dun quite mind actually…. its just something new and something i wish to share in my blog…. that….. I’M STALKED BY MOTHS!

so any of u superstitious fellows / fellowettes…. let’s come out with crazy explaination on why these phenomenon is happening to me…. oh ya! while i was driving to the shop today with my mom…. a moth flew to the middle of the road where i was heading to….. *freakkkyyyyy* and i also believe that its the same moth that’s been following me…. *heheh* just like the thrill of it…..

When will it ever be enough? i keep trying and trying but it seems to be never enough…! i keep saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong things and being not enough….

anxious. despair. anguish. frustration. disappointment. all coiled up in me. i keep doing the wrong thing according to u… just like a stone… no feelings u presume i am… n with that… caring is what u think i dun have. showering the best i can to carve a smile… but keep frowning when nothing is enough.

what am i to do? i m soo confused.

i’m just soo damn bored…so i just feel like dropping something into the blog just for thought! today.. i feel so shitty… had my tuition this morning… an advance class so i dun have to go next week… ive just started working and so far…alhamdulillah… things are going ok…. … hope i can cope & adapt to the environment ….

today, i feel shitty! sooo shitty! i’m just not in the mood…. i have things on my mind….but i dunno how to let it out.. i’m tired… and i’m just in a shitty feeling…

sometimes i wish i can just be young again n have fun…maybe … the ‘change’ is getting to me… life is good dun get me wrong… its just that i have some thoughts that ive been keeping inside for quite some time… n now…its kinda bothering me….

i feel restless and somewhat empty…. i feel unsatisfied! yup..that’s how i am now.. just simply unsatisfied… not content enough!

i keep asking myself what …. but i cant seem to find the root of these feelings…. i guess its better left this way….. all to myself…..

ppl say when u talk too much u reveal too much…. n from what ive learned…. its better not to say anything rather than saying it n nobody listens…….

Yesterday marks the history the world has made where 8 countries held an event of the century the to demolish and change the future and lives of Africans where about 30 000 children dies needlessly of poverty. Artists and celebrities gave their utmost support and concern by creating the Live 8 concerts on all the 8 countries simultaneously in order urge the G8 leaders to alter the history. The USA, Canada, Great Britain, France, Germany, Italy, Japan and Russia, G8 leaders are gonna come together and gather in 1 room and we, the people of the world, would make them turn the history around and create a new one by helping our friends in Africa : Make Poverty History!!!!

Enough of putting ourselves first, enough of being selfish and greedy, It’s time for usto open our eyes and help the needy ones… support Live 8…..

for more info, visit www.live8live.com or www.whitebands.org

Lets Take A Long Walk To Justice………….